Global Posts

When last we check in, all was status quo in the world of US Politics.  McCain was still comparing Obama to the likes of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.  The world was still laughing and amazed at Paris’s video response to McCain’s use of her without her permission.  Obama was still campaigning to crowds of thousands after a weeklong trip to Europe and the Mid-East where he was met with smiles and balloons.

The Clintons has re-emerged on the campaign trail bringing both fear and wonderment at what they would do next - although Bill was still on damage control.

It seemed just like an average Friday in the world.  Until…

John Edwards, former Vice President nominee in 2004 and Presidential hopeful in 2008, the man with the overpriced haircuts, the boyish looks, the all-American smile and the perfect family life, admitted to having had an affair with a video producer two years earlier!  The shock!  The horror!  Sure, lots of politicians have affairs but this was the boy next door. 

Obama was so upset that he took off to Hawaii with his family under the guise of wanting to spend quality time withi his wife and children and visit his grandmother whom he hadn’t seen for two years.  Bush was so traumatized he ran off to China!  Since McCain doesn’t know how to work a computer, he may not have heard the news.  Cheney and Bill Clinton remained silent - though in Bill’s case it may have been fear of opening his mouth once again.

But Hillary Clinton outshined them all by being brave and commenting on the breaking news.  She had the guts to say what no one else would.  She said, “My thoughts and prayers are with the Edwards family today and that’s all I’ve got to say.”  Okay, maybe not quite the inspiring and gutsy statement afterall but afterwards she extended an invitation to Elizabeth Edwards to be the latest member of the ‘My Husband is a Cheater’ club.

Bill Clinton was last seen trying to avoid Hillary realizing that the Edward’s revelation might have brought back some anger issues.

Next week… “How will China survive the Curse of Bush?” unless something else exciting happens :D.

Every good story has an interesting cast of characters and sometimes real life is far more bizarre than anything soap writers could think of.   So, in the interest of keeping some sanity in the U.S. Political world, meet our cast of characters.

George W. Bush - A Texan who managed to run five different companies into the ground and, even with the poorest resume around, took over running one of the world’s greatest nations into, yep, you guessed it, the ground.  Giving the world some of the greatest blunders of all time, one can only assume his ‘C’ average did not include too high of a grade in English.

Dick Cheney - Whatever you do NEVER go hunting with him.  He has an uncanny talent of confusing a 6′ elderly man with a 5″ quail.  A Wyoming native, he survives on sucking the life out of others, oppressing those who would rise up against him and bathes in oil just because he can.

John McCain - Current GOP Presidential candidate for the 2008 elections, he gives the Crypt Keeper a run for his money, if he could actually keep up in running.  A man who has years of experience in U.S. Politics, he is by far one of our most interesting characters.  However, he is quick to lose his temper and has been known to drag Hollywood starlets into politics against their will.

Barack Obama - The ‘golden child’ of the Democratic Party, he has so far managed to fend off the attacks of the Clinton machine and has captured the hearts of the world.  How much longer can he continue to be the beloved of the people?

Hillary Clinton - Former rival of Obama, she is also a former First Lady and current US Senator of New York.  She fought a good fight in the most recent primary Presidential battle but alas, it was not enough.  She is not above shedding a few ‘tears’ and showing her claws when cornered.  What tricks does she have up her sleeve still?

Bill Clinton - Former President of the US, he made the sad mistake of opening his mouth during his wife’s run for President.  He has a certain weakness for Cuban Cigars and boy, did THAT get him in trouble!  Currently he is on damage control for opening his mouth months earlier.  Rumor has it Hillary has invested greatly in duct tape.

Supporting cast will include all those who need to be included!

Stay tuned for our first blogisode… “Edwards, we hardly knew thee” aka “See, Hillary, I’m not the only one!”