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I’ve already voted in the Presidential election. I voted for Obama. McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin as his Vice-presidential running-mate sealed my vote. I tell because I want you to know my bias upfront.

I don’t normally do political blogging. I don’t consider myself exceptionally knowledgeable about politics, and politics is not a major interest of mine. Indeed, although politics cannot be avoided with this story, the point I want to get across is a moral one, not a political one.

This is Ashley Todd. She is a 20 year old Texas A&M college student. She is an ardent McCain supporter. McCain is going to win Ashley’s (and my) home state of Texas quite handily. Obama and McCain know that so there is not much Presidential campaigning going on down here. However, Ashley evidently wanted to be involved in the McCain campaign in a way that could make a difference. So she went to the hotly contested state of Pennsylvania.

This morning on my way to work, I heard that she had been assaulted at an ATM machine by a black man. The black man was offended by her McCain/Palin sticker on her car. He knocked her to the ground, kicked her, and carved a letter B for Barack into her face.

Poor her, right? … Well not so fast. Look at the picture. Yes Ashley has a black eye and the “B” on her face but there are no other cuts or scrapes. The “B” is a scratch. There will be no permanent scarring. It is a well formed letter which would be surprising for something done in anger on a squirming person trying to protect herself from an assault. In fact, the only thing wrong with the B is that it is backwards … almost as though the B were made by someone looking in a mirror.

This is a more recent picture of Ashley. She is being led away in handcuffs … after admitting that she lied. The only person who assaulted Ashley was Ashley herself. What a stupid, stupid girl.

I was young once upon a time. I know that young people can occasionally do stupid things. I remember doing them. I am all for writing off a certain amount of stupidity as necessary for a healthy maturation process. But what I can’t forgive is the meanness inherent in this act.

What was she trying to do? I think the answer to that question is obvious. She was trying to gain sympathy and votes for McCain/Palin. But how was she going to do that? By portraying Obama supporters as crazed black guys willing to cut up white women who support McCain. In short she appealed to about as vile a stereotype as one can appeal to. That is unacceptable no matter how naive the perpetrator. If you have to stoop to this level in order to achieve a goal, then your goal is not worth achieving.

When last we check in, all was status quo in the world of US Politics.  McCain was still comparing Obama to the likes of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.  The world was still laughing and amazed at Paris’s video response to McCain’s use of her without her permission.  Obama was still campaigning to crowds of thousands after a weeklong trip to Europe and the Mid-East where he was met with smiles and balloons.

The Clintons has re-emerged on the campaign trail bringing both fear and wonderment at what they would do next - although Bill was still on damage control.

It seemed just like an average Friday in the world.  Until…

John Edwards, former Vice President nominee in 2004 and Presidential hopeful in 2008, the man with the overpriced haircuts, the boyish looks, the all-American smile and the perfect family life, admitted to having had an affair with a video producer two years earlier!  The shock!  The horror!  Sure, lots of politicians have affairs but this was the boy next door. 

Obama was so upset that he took off to Hawaii with his family under the guise of wanting to spend quality time withi his wife and children and visit his grandmother whom he hadn’t seen for two years.  Bush was so traumatized he ran off to China!  Since McCain doesn’t know how to work a computer, he may not have heard the news.  Cheney and Bill Clinton remained silent - though in Bill’s case it may have been fear of opening his mouth once again.

But Hillary Clinton outshined them all by being brave and commenting on the breaking news.  She had the guts to say what no one else would.  She said, “My thoughts and prayers are with the Edwards family today and that’s all I’ve got to say.”  Okay, maybe not quite the inspiring and gutsy statement afterall but afterwards she extended an invitation to Elizabeth Edwards to be the latest member of the ‘My Husband is a Cheater’ club.

Bill Clinton was last seen trying to avoid Hillary realizing that the Edward’s revelation might have brought back some anger issues.

Next week… “How will China survive the Curse of Bush?” unless something else exciting happens :D.

Every good story has an interesting cast of characters and sometimes real life is far more bizarre than anything soap writers could think of.   So, in the interest of keeping some sanity in the U.S. Political world, meet our cast of characters.

George W. Bush - A Texan who managed to run five different companies into the ground and, even with the poorest resume around, took over running one of the world’s greatest nations into, yep, you guessed it, the ground.  Giving the world some of the greatest blunders of all time, one can only assume his ‘C’ average did not include too high of a grade in English.

Dick Cheney - Whatever you do NEVER go hunting with him.  He has an uncanny talent of confusing a 6′ elderly man with a 5″ quail.  A Wyoming native, he survives on sucking the life out of others, oppressing those who would rise up against him and bathes in oil just because he can.

John McCain - Current GOP Presidential candidate for the 2008 elections, he gives the Crypt Keeper a run for his money, if he could actually keep up in running.  A man who has years of experience in U.S. Politics, he is by far one of our most interesting characters.  However, he is quick to lose his temper and has been known to drag Hollywood starlets into politics against their will.

Barack Obama - The ‘golden child’ of the Democratic Party, he has so far managed to fend off the attacks of the Clinton machine and has captured the hearts of the world.  How much longer can he continue to be the beloved of the people?

Hillary Clinton - Former rival of Obama, she is also a former First Lady and current US Senator of New York.  She fought a good fight in the most recent primary Presidential battle but alas, it was not enough.  She is not above shedding a few ‘tears’ and showing her claws when cornered.  What tricks does she have up her sleeve still?

Bill Clinton - Former President of the US, he made the sad mistake of opening his mouth during his wife’s run for President.  He has a certain weakness for Cuban Cigars and boy, did THAT get him in trouble!  Currently he is on damage control for opening his mouth months earlier.  Rumor has it Hillary has invested greatly in duct tape.

Supporting cast will include all those who need to be included!

Stay tuned for our first blogisode… “Edwards, we hardly knew thee” aka “See, Hillary, I’m not the only one!”

So, it appears Obama has captured the hearts of North Carolinians in our very late primary. I really couldn’t have called it either way– I figured we had so many McCainians down here that the Dems didn’t even cross my mind. It’s kind of a sad election, really. Since it’s the first that I’ve really been fully conscious of (I was 13 at Bush’s re-election, and seriously didn’t care), even though I’m a couple months shy of being able to vote, it’s seemed to last much longer than all previous ones (born into George Bush Sr.’s administration in the heat of the Gulf war, I’ve seen nothing but Clintons and Bushes so far…) I’m almost glad I was saved the obligation of having to vote that would have come with an earlier 18th birthday. I don’t like or trust any of them; in the end, it would have been picking the least of three obnoxiously rehearsed figureheads. I’m so sick of seeing these people that the only place I can tolerate it any more is on SNL. But seriously, can someone just figure out a way to hoist Ron Paul onto the throne? He got over 4,000 votes in our primary, ringing in at 8%. That’s almost 10%, which is double-digits, which puts him on the same playing field as Hillary and Barack… at least, in my mind…

(Slathers on “Cran & Berry Juicie” lotion. I like the little bottles you get at nail salons.)

My life has been nothing but a constant information flow this week. My mind is starting to feel overcrowded– the AP European facts are getting pushed around by the abnormal psychology podcast, which is tripping over the CNN Student News, making room for this week’s People double-issue and bumping into The Things They Carried.

I’ve listened to podcasts– abnormal psychology,